Day #1 – hate and myself

I was brought up to love myself, not in an arrogant I am the most amazing person in the world kind of way but more I am who I am and I have to make the most of my abilities and most importantly that I am loved. Not to sure if there are things I really hate about myself; there are things I really don’t like ie; the aftermath of a pregnant body but that can be fixed with eating less chocolate and doing some exercise, along with that though I have to say that now my boobs are two different cup sizes on a plus note I now have boobs! (clothes looks so much better when you’re a C rather an A – hope I get to keep some of these).
These things however are just physical things and can easily be dealt with. What I do hate about myself is my stubbornness and my inability to let something go – always having to have the last word and be right (well most of the time though I accept I can’t be all the time). Thankfully over the last few years I’ve read a lot of self help books and I think I’m much better in this department.
What is left to hate is my ability to get really excited about something and then never finish it. I’m pretty sure there are still huge jars of candle wax in my parent’s garage in my making my own candles phase (I think I was about 16 at the time so a few years a go now). I know I have 5 big terracotta pots in my own garage waiting for me to paint and plant my house plants into.
Though it’s not just craft things that I leave unfinished or not followed up on this can be seen in how many times I’ve been back to university to study yet another degree that I have to have and guess what never do anything with, though at least I have a load of letters after my name; BA (classical studies – went there to do Art History and History as well but guess what didn’t stick with them), Grad Dip TESOL (though I did teach overseas for 5 years so I guess this one wasn’t totally wasted) and a Diploma in Veterinary Nursing. I mean seriously how embarrassing you’d think after 6 years at uni I would know what I wanted to do!             
I think the thing I hate most about myself is the way I talk to myself. I can always find something nice to say to someone else but looking in the mirror whether it is inside or out at my own reflection things don’t come up so nicely. I guess I better reread “self talk soul talk”  

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